SHARING SPECIAL MOMENTS: AN EXCERPT -- MAY 9

After an afternoon together, Martha and daughter Meadow are enjoying some cozy moments:  an excerpt from Interior Designs.

Home at last, Meadow and I headed straight for the family room.  Surrounded by our wonderful treasures—books and glossy magazines—we curled up in our favorite spots.  The TV stayed off as we eagerly turned the pages.  I leafed through the gorgeous decorating magazines I’d chosen, wondering if something would catch my eye and captivate me.  I hadn’t given up on my dream of totally gifting myself with a new overall look.  Nothing too grand, since I didn’t want to overly indulge myself, but just those small accessories and colorful changes that could make the place mine.  Completely mine, with few reminders of that old life with Hal.

After an hour of absorption in these activities, the phone rang.

I resented the intrusion, but decided that the call could bring something good.  Why did I assume the worst?  It might be Maeve, or Gran, or…no, don’t even go there.  I had vowed to put thoughts and feelings about Zach in the past.  There was no room in my life for him now.

But the call was from none of the possible people I’d considered. When I heard my mother’s voice, I felt that familiar guilt.  I knew that my attitude these days had more to do with recent memories and dreams of how she’d disapproved of me.  But when married to Hal, I’d always felt a special connection with her.  Now I realized that she’d really only approved of me when I was living the kind of life she had chosen for herself.  Marital bliss.

“Hi, Mom,” I answered her brisk hello.  “How are you?”  I knew that with these brief words, I would be inviting a barrage of personal information about her exciting life and all the adventures she shared with my father, but I wasn’t up to sharing anything of my life, so this worked out well for me.

And she did just that.  A few moments later, she interjected an inquisitive remark.  “I hear that Meadow is home this weekend.  Would the two of you like to come to dinner?”

As much as I really didn’t want to go there, I agreed.  Meadow enjoyed visiting her grandparents, and they turned all the warmth they’d never given me onto her.  So she would benefit.

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