SWEET SATURDAY SAMPLES: REEXAMINING THE PAST IN LIGHT OF THE PRESENT -- OCT. 6

Welcome to another Sweet Saturday Sample.  Pull up a chair; enjoy; and then visit the other delicious samples by clicking the link.

Last week’s episode showed Maeve and Martha “dishing” about their current romances, and sharing their thoughts about Zach’s murder charges  (From Interior Designs).

Today, as Martha goes on with her life, aspects of her old one insert themselves into her awareness, forcing her to reexamine her old life and her new one, side by side.

 

Christmas turned out to be a glorious time for Duane and me.  He came down several times during the holidays, helping me decorate one weekend when Meadow was away.  As the weekend drew to a close, and as Meadow’s return slowly approached, I glanced over at him and asked the inevitable question.  “Do you think it’s time?  To meet my daughter, and for me to meet your kids?”

 
He nodded, and as we stood there, holding each other, he went on:  “But not like this.  I think we should plan something we can do that’s kid-oriented.  I could pick up my kids and bring them here, on my way to LA.  We could go to Disneyland with them, maybe.  Would Meadow enjoy that?”

 
“Yes, I think that might be a good start.”

 
So we planned how it would all happen, and then he held me again before saying good-bye.  “Let’s make it happen really soon.  I love you,” he added.  It wasn’t the first time he’d said the words, but the other times had been close, intimate moments in bed.  I usually ignored comments like that at those times.

 
I felt the color tingeing my face.  “I love you, too,” I replied.  We hugged and then walked slowly toward his car.

 
After he drove away, waving at me with that big smile of his, I stood there, hugging myself, and trying not to overly analyze my feelings.  Could this be happening?  Had I finally moved on from that dark place of loss and rejection?

 
Shaking my head furiously, I went back inside and poured a glass of wine.  I needed to take my time before making any decisions.  But in the meantime, wasn’t it great to feel the glow of love again?

 
I had scarcely taken two sips from my wine when I heard Hal’s car pulling into the driveway.

 
That was a narrow escape, I thought, moving slowly toward the front door.

 
Was there something off about Meadow as she rushed toward me?  Had the old fears and insecurities resurfaced?  I waited for her hug, and when she pulled away quickly, dashing inside, I glanced over at Hal, frowning slightly.

 
“What was that all about?”

 
He sighed, looking discouraged.  “Sometimes I think that nothing will ever change,” he spoke, the frustration growing in his voice and expression.

 
I just felt irritated.  Was he going to give up now?  “What do you mean?  Maybe you could just tell me what happened.”

 
He shook his head.  “It wouldn’t do any good.  I’m sure that all of this is working out nicely for you.”  He sounded bitter.  “She hates spending time with us, which just makes you feel virtuous.”

 
“How could you possibly know what I’m feeling?”  My challenge seemed to grab his attention.

 
“Well, aren’t you just waiting to say ‘I told you so’?  About my marriage, I mean?”

 
“You know, not everything is about you,” I finally said, hoping not to convey any of the feelings he expected from me.  “I really do want her to have a relationship with you.  But you can’t expect her to love Amber and her kids as much as you do.  Maybe all you can expect is that she’ll be civil to them.  It’s not an adjustment that can happen overnight, and I suspect that, over the years, there will be more adjustments.  You’ve never really had to maintain that one-on-one relationship with her.  When we were together, you didn’t see her all that much, if you recall.  To build your own special relationship is going to take awhile.  And sometimes you might have to spend time with her alone.  And I don’t mean just in the car on the drive.”

 
He looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.  Then he nodded.  “I’ll think about that.”

 
As he drove away, I contemplated the ins and outs of parent-child relationships, and how a divorce could shine a spotlight on all the deficiencies that had been there all along.  Just waiting to express themselves in feelings and behaviors.

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